mikrafty

She reaches across the mattress,
kisses the small of my back,
her arm reaches over my shoulder,
she tries to pull me close.
I try to push her away;
it wasn't supposed to end up this way.
Too hard to say no, when your body refuses
It was a mistake I had seen a long time coming,
I couldn't make myself turn away;
I dove into the deep end of the fire.
Her kisses taste like the last shot of alcohol,
we're both wasted in our deception and passion.
Her skin so soft and smooth,
it's been a long time coming.
It wasn't supposed to end up this way.
It wasn't supposed to end up this way.

It is sad how I tend to take advantage of situations without even thinking it through completely. Is it because I don't care? Is it because I am selfish and am only looking out for myself? I know there are changes to be made; I've been trying for a long time. Deep down inside me there is a compelling feeling to do what is right. However, I tend to shrug it off. I go for the moment, worry about the consequences later. Not that I am just realizing it, but, I see how going for the moment does not make me happy. It does not make me a better person. Rather, it fills me up with unsatisfaction, doubt, a certain fear, and regret. Those people that claim to live for the moment, don't they regret? Do they wish at some time they hadn't made that decision? I don't want regret. I want accomplishment. I want satisfaction. I want hapiness.